A group of elderly women has been in my orbit for the last ten years, trying to manage my emergence into the world. Every now and then they surface in a concrete manifestation and claim privilege. I tend to sigh, but some of their pronouncements are prejudicial. I’ve decided to sound off against them.
I hate to have to say this, but when all is said and done, I’ll finally be able to do the work that I was meant to do only after the old ladies that seek to preserve order have presided over the complete collapse of human society and the global ecology.
Sometimes things have to change. It’s a delusion for either sex to believe that it can do without the other. Try to have some faith in the integrity of masculine love. You were meant to amplify it, but we can’t express it at all if you’re going to use it to amplify your fears.
And, yes, I do hear your convocations. My input to them is blocked by women that benefit from the status quo, and those of you that have direct access to me have not even begun to ask the right questions. I seem to have been categorized as just another man. What you don’t seem to understand is that my manifestation of those traits – to the degree that I do – is because the more powerful among your sisters have invested enormous energy in projecting such traits onto me.
You might take it as a measure of my strength that I am subduing them without your support.
That is why over the last fifteen years I haven’t pursued any of your romantic arrangements. I have given up on your generation, and my sisters’ generation. The future is closed to you, and I exist only to create that future. I see it – though dimly – through the trusting spirits of your female grandchildren. They do recognize me, and I am doing my best to teach them how to exercise the unique grace that love manifests in them.
I went out to Ventura yesterday afternoon for my Bikram Yoga class, and discovered that the Saturday afternoon class had been cancelled for the holiday. A picture in the window of a new second-hand store had caught my eye on the way up Oak Street, so I decided to check out the shops.
I was busy the last two weekends, so there’s three new videos out at Love Returns.
The facility’s title: 1440 Multiversity. 1440 is the number of minutes in a day. And for three days, for every minute I did nothing of practical significance. I practiced my flute, took Qigong classes, and wandered among the redwoods. Three meals a day were provided by the kitchen, and I stuffed myself at every sitting without ever become bloated. When I became tired, I went back to my room and laid out on the king-sized bed.
All of these factors combined to let my muscles lengthen and stretch. The burning cramp in the upper part of my right shin disappeared. Climbing up and down the steps to the stream, I discovered muscles in my back that allowed my to transfer strain from my knees into my hips. The burning around my patellae moderated.
So how do we proceed from here? I’m doing my best to fill the world with light. The photos here represent my inspiration. It no longer makes a difference whether people declare their allegiance with my intentions. Those that hear the “still, small voice” in the night will be encouraged. Those that trumpet their own importance will tear each other apart as their dark islands become smaller and smaller.
get this fuzzy photo of my son in line to be announced as having earned his baccalaureate in Electrical Engineering from UCLA. He was recognized as acting President of the IEEE club and received Student Welfare recognition as well. Now it’s off with him to Google next month. (Starting work the day before my birthday. Happy coincidence!)
everdeepening 